LOVE.

September 10th was World Suicide Prevention Day. As I skimmed the Facebook update on the topic, I was drawn in to the message as I have been many times before. A message that calls anyone and everyone to provide hope to the hopeless, and to perform small acts of kindness that can change, and even save a person's life. This is more true than anything I have ever heard, and it is such a simple concept. Why do we struggle with the simple things? I've heard time and time again that simple isn't always easy, but why not? Falling into the traps of this world have made the simple things in life so difficult, forgotten and looked down upon because everyone has this goal of making themselves number one. Those people are the biggest source of the problems in our world today. Our world, full of self-loving and self-loathing people, has corrupted everyone in its wake. Think about how hard it is not to judge someone at first sight. A judgemental mindset has become the norm and I'm NOT ok with it. As Paul writes in his letter to the Philippians, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility value others above yourselves. Not looking to your own interests, but to the interests of others." If even a small group of people in our city changed their selfish thoughts to selfless acts the whole world could begin to change. It really is THAT simple.

I think a radical love is what our world needs and I'm so glad to be a part of a group of people trying to change the world. Slowly but surely I truely believe it can happen. Our corrupt world needs to be renewed and refreshed by an uncontainable sense of hope and love. Not only is my church, Southland, on this mission, but so is the organization, To Write Love On Her Arms.

As said in Francis Chan's recent book, Crazy Love, "I believe He wants us to love others so much that we go to extremes to help them, I believe he wants us to be known for giving - of our time, our money, and our abilities - and to start a movement of "giving" churches. In so doing, we can alleviate the suffering in the world and change the reputation of His bride in America. Some people, even some at my church, have told me flat-out. 'You're crazy.' But I can't imagine devoting my life to a greater vision."
This is exactly how I feel. Not only do I want to help change the image of the church in America, but also love others so much that I'll go to extremes to help them. To love others in such a huge way that they can't help but ask questions and begin to love themselves and others in return. This is what Christ and a few bold people did for me and that is ALL I want to do with my life.

This vision doesn't even have to be felt by people who call themselves Christians.. people feel this tug on their hearts everyday. There are people all around the world, people who have given up on the church and people of other religions that feel called to love in extreme ways and give their lives and everything in them for the sake of others. I undoubtably know there is a God who is calling my heart to love people in any circumstances of life. But why do these radical lovers hate the church? We need to change their image and show them the raw, absurd love of God and His son. Their eternal love so surpasses our understanding and ability that there is no way that with their help the whole world can't be changed.

I feel like its so easy for beleivers and non-believers alike to question God in really unappreciative ways, like God was created for us. NO. "All things were created by him and for him." The Bible clearly states that many times. So why when we are unhappy with our circumstances or the conditions of the world do we question God as to why they're like that? Why did WE ever let it get like that? We, the world, sinful people, have destroyed God's beautiful, flawless creation. We fail over and over and if we just stopped to praise Him constantly and love and give in His name, all the bad would fall away. I believe that with everything I have. You're thinking .. yeah, it could happen, but not in this generation. NO. If we all would just stop, praise Him constantly, love a little more and give daily in His name, our generation can change the world.
This thought started with suicide prevention. Suicide started from self-pity and self-pity started when someone felt unloved. WHY IS THERE ANYONE IN THIS WORLD THAT FEELS UNLOVED.

I'm going to change the world in the name if Jesus and His unfailing love.

college, a new adventure.

so first of all can i just say that i love college. my roommate is so fun and our room is beginning to feel like home. i have a few pictures but they're all pre-decorating so they're a little blah.

the first picture is my side and the second is my roommate, kayla's.

the first is a picture from where i sit under my loft looking through my mirror and the second is my "tea party" table. i got crap for it for a while but we've all come to love it.

kayla and i have decorated out mirrors with window crayons and moved things around over and over (not the big stuff, but food and random things.) kayla is from nothern kentucky and she is biracial. she's hillarious and we get along very well. occasionally i like to talk ghetto and she always gets a kick out of it. almost every night since we've been here we've shared snippits of our lives with each other and i'm really glad God brought her in my life for me to love and accept with open arms and an open heart.

i also have 2 other new friends. chelsea who lives to the right of me and shelbi who lives to the left. they are both from different cities in ohio and did younglife in high school like i did. we are alike in a lot of ways and once we found out we had something in common we easily attached to each other, unaware of what our friendships would bring to each others lives. if you know anything about me you know that im never ready on time... neither is chelsea. shelbi on the other hand hates being late and is always early. together we're usually almost on time to everything we go to haha. if i remember correctly the first thing we went to together was 608 and they loved it. from the statement the It series made, to the atmosphere of the church, to that weeks acapella worship, they were sold. then we started going to CSF things together. first to shift and then to synergy (which blew my mind with happiness). at shift they got to meet one of my favorite singers and now, a new freind, adaeze. becca and syerra know about my secret obsession with her music but i just can't get enough of the meaning behind the lyrics to her songs and how the things they speak were part of what kept me going through struggles i faced when i was first learning how to give my all to God. somehow i let it slip that she was like my hero and chels and shelbi made it a point to have someone introduce her to me. i was so embarassed and now i seriously see her everywhere haha. but enough about that, and more about college!

monday wednesday and friday i have elem. calculus and chemistry and i'm not gonna lie they're my favorite classes and i'm kinda disappointed that i didn't try to take che 105 because i really think i could have done it. i know it's just the first week or whatever, but i have an incredible professor and you can tell she loves what she does and she's very good at it and wants to make it understandable to her students. i'm actually still excited to start learning calculus and i'm pretty sure i'll need some help with it because my professor is kindof vague and i have never taken calculus but i like math so i think i'll be fine! (im such a loser haha.) on tuesdays and thursdays i have com 252 (interpersonal com), german 104 (weimar berlin), and a discovery seminar about islamic beliefs. sadly, no one has started communicating in my communications class. it's awkward and uncomfortable, but the professor is a hoot! shes so energetic and excited about everything and she makes me wish i wasn't so shy sometimes haha. today she wore chacos and a dress. i'm not really ok with that. no lies, my german 104 teacher is a stud and he knows more about germany than i could ever think about knowing about anything ever. he wore chacos with socks today. also not ok. my islamic beliefs class is incredibly boring because the professor is a soft spoken, deep- and mono-toned muslim man who continues to repeat himself over and over saying the same thing that we understood the first time he said it because i'm pretty sure he has nothing else to talk about for the class yet. by the time i get to this class i'm already either about to fall asleep or so hungry i could eat myself. (i survive off of tictacs alone.) i should learn to pack my lunch or get coffee before my first class bc i tried to get some at 11 and that was a BAD idea. the line was like 15 people long and i only had about 12 minutes before class started by the time i got there.

i have a new love also. working out. well i dont think i can say love yet, but i went to the underground monday with shelbi and we ran and did elliptical machines and abs and arms and bikes and man, i felt good afterwards. go endorphins, go! i felt so good the rest of the day and even better after a cold coke (another love of mine). except it really sucked to have to walk up the 4 flights of stairs to get to my room afterwards. ):

so basically all i have to say is i love college and i love every person God has brought in and out of my life through coming to live on campus and the things he has taught me so far. i have been tested and pushed, accepted and comforted, encouraged and called inspiring by people i have known for a week and 4 days... and there's still 4 years to come!

i can't wait to tell stories about my freshman year.

love & big hugs from room 447 (:

la la la.

hi, i love shopping. i love pretty, dressy and fashionable clothes! you probably couldn't tell that from all the t-shirts i wear, but if you look in my closet i have lots of dressy tops! i lovee dressing up but i usually only do it when i'm cleaning/organizing my room (prime time for practicing walking in heels if you ask me + a good work out for your legs!)

say hello to my new shirt and join me in welcoming my new love for Ann Taylor Loft Petites!

the ruffles are a big trend -and have been for a while - and they were all over ATL. it was awesome! everywhere i looked i saw something else to fall in love with.. i even met a new friend while i was shopping. she works at ann taylor & she goes to UK. her 2 roommates are majoring in the 2 things im considering (marketing & dietetics) what a coincidence. it was a fun day!

Though it was last years accessory i believe it will come back.. i love scarves!

i bought 2 today. one is my favorite shade of light green and the other a deep indigo & purple plaid. they were half price and i want more!

i have recently been inspired to be crafty. the inspiration comes from a work crew friend, emily. i have a veryy comfortable plain grey hoodie from Aerie that got a huge hole in the first day i had it. i never really minded they eyesore and continued to wear it. when emily noticed the hole she told me about how she likes to patch things on really plain shirts, hoodies & jeans to make them more unique which she strives to be all around. i gave it to her before we left & a few weeks later in the mail i recieved cookies and my favorite grey hoodie with a cute purple patch and other little tidbits to spice it up. I LOVE IT (its packed with all my other hoodies for college or i would show you a picture.)

but about being crafty ... i have an awesome F21 grey vest that is missing a button. ):

but i have decided to remove all the others and replacing them with colorful ones!

here's where i get to use my home ec skills from 7th grade.

i am also very thrifty! nothing i bought today WASN'T on sale! (thats a lie i bought at $16 necklace at AE .. oopsie!) i've been selling old clothes, shoes and books to platos, goodwill and half price books this month and have found many deals in the process. my last trip to indiana i got 8 new goodwill t-shirts! i also got 40% off on friends & family night at Platos where i bought 14 things for $100 including Sperry's, PINK sweatpants, AE jeans and 3 dresses. and TODAY i actually found my chemistry book for this semester at half-price books for a mere $7.98.

BEAT THAT! haha. plus todd thomas owes me a text book for a deal he made with me.

(good thing i rock at wakeboarding!)

i love deals .. and TREATS.

A cow and an apple tree button i got in a bag of assorted buttons from walmart.

that's definitely a treat!

fake family, real love.

If you know me you've probably heard me mention my Granny Gail or my "fake grandparents." When I was born, our neighbor Nancy was named my Godmother and her brother, Mark is my god-father. Sibling godparents.. that's different but I love them all the same. That makes their parents my God-grandparents, Granny Gail & Sam.

God-grandparent's is a great name for them because they are truely a God give blessing. My Granny Gail basically raised me until I started Kindergarten. They have a huge farm in Georgetown and we we went fishing, 4-wheeling, picked veggies from the garden, caught worms, went to the farmer's market, played in mud holes, hung laundry, sang country music, fed cows, talked, laughed and just had a good time. They are the most loving family. My Granny Gail taught me more about life than I could ever thank her for. She taught me the value of love and how to tell a good tomato from a bad one. I can point out a half runner from any other green bean and I know the best way to eat fried corn.. on a slice of green pepper. Though we're not blood, we're family. I can't think of a Thanksgiving or Christmas Eve supper that I didn't have at their house and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Every time I visit I get to enjoy reminiscing on the things I've said and done growing up there and all the things they did for me. When I was 4 I apparently found a magazine that had a picture of a tire swing. "I need that," I said to Sam. He parked his pick-up truck by a tree with some wire and an old tire in the back, and from then on I had my own tire swing.

I can honestly say most of my best childhood memories were made at this farm and I wouldn't be who I am or where I am without them. I was so stressed a month ago trying to figure out how, when and where I was going to find a loan or some type of money to pay for my first semester of college. One call and two visits later my college is paid for. I am so blessed to have this family and so grateful for their compassion and love for me.

I should trust what's deep inside.

So I made a plan to read through Romans, one chapter a day (excluding Sundays) until I move out. I randomly picked the book and had no idea that there would be exactly enough chapters & days, and once I set out my plan I got reallly excited! I love reading and I've been so distracted lately I definitely need something to keep me grounded.

Well, I started this adventure on Monday and naturally I am already behind. ): But last night I was feeling a bit bummed out and decided to go to sleep early. I got a call from a really good, close friend very early this morning. She said something alone lines of, "Aarika, I feel God in me. He's inside of me, I know it." I was speechless not only because I was still half asleep but also because that sounds amazing. What does that mean? What does that feel like? Have I ever felt what she's feeling? I want to feel that.

She let me go back to sleep and we hung up. I felt so confused and consumed with questions. I laid in bed thinking of everything imaginable and felt really convicted that I hadn't been helping her in any way find God or make sense of anything she's been faced with as she's making an effort to start a life with Christ. I love her more than anyone and I would do anything for her and I have left her alone to wander (and wonder.) While I'm feeling like crap for forgetting my friend I suddenly remember that I have forgotten about my reading, too. It's now really early on Saturday and I've only done Romans 1 & 2. So I crawled out of bed and read through Romans 3.

All I can say is OUCH.

Romans 3:10-18 (CSB)

as it is written:

There is no one righteous, not even one;

there is no one who understands,

there is no one who seeks God.

All have turned away,

together they have become useless;

there is no one who does good,

there is not even one.

Their throat is an open grave;

they deceive with their gongues.

Vipers' venom is under their lips.

Their mouth is full of cursing and bitterness.

Their feet are swift to shed blood;

ruin and wretchednes are in their paths,

and the path of peace they have not know.

There is no fear of God before their eyes.

Romans 3:32

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

That goes pretty deep and every time I read it I just think.. wow, I suck! I am so selfish and ungrateful! God I don't deserve anything you could ever offer and you give me everything. You are crazy!

But the story here gets better. Romans 3:24-25 reminds me that "[I am] justified freely by His grace throught he redemption that is Christ Jesus. God presented Him as a propitiation (an offering of atonement) through faith in His blood, to demonstrate His righteousness, because in His restraint God passed over the sins previously committed."

WHOA! God is really crazy in love with me. Even though I fail at being humble and loving and nice every day and I do wrong things, every day God says, it's OK! I am justified freely by His grace. Jesus is a propitation because he removed God's wrath from us. IT'S GONE. So why don't I feel this? Why do I let it all still sit there and bother me. Its the past and Jesus made a way for everything I do wrong to be passed over, removed, let go, forgotten, forgiven, justified. It's gone. God knows that I will always fall short of His glory. The Bible clearly says that.

I guess what's hard for me is that I don't understand justification. I justify the things I do every day.. in a bad way. Well 55 isn't that far over the speed limit. 15 more minutes of sleep, I won't be late. I'll do that tomorrow because I want to do this now. I need this because..... They just keep coming! But the justification Paul is writing about is soo different from what I think about. One that is more difficult to understand. How does this work? Why does He do this? How do I know? Now I've just confused myself and I still don't know whether to be sad because God just told me I suck or to be happy because by His grace I've been given another chance. So I decided to sleep on it.

When I woke up I decided to take another look at it. I crawled out of bed to sit where I always sit to read and I grab my Bible that I had left open and notice the page has been turned. Romans 8:1 is highlighed on this page. "Therefore, no condemnation now exists for those in Christ Jesus."

There's my answer. I've read all these things before and I love it when you look at them again and they make just a little bit more sense. My friend needs to know these things. But how do I show her and help her when I'm still learning these things myself? I have to constantly remind myself when it comes to my faith that I'm really not that far along. I've been running hard towards a life with Christ for a year now and I feel so obligated to help and show others but I need help and guidance myself. So often I like to think, I've got this, I can keep this discipline and I'll remember and I know... no. It obviously shows when Monday I was so excited to read through Romans and here it is 6 days later and I'm 3 chapters behind.

I feel so jealous of my friend that in 5 hours of driving around feeling God, she totally understands how to be compassionate and the full force of God's love for her and for others. I know what she felt and I've felt it too. I've experienced a late night of fear and hope in the presence of my Father who let me see and feel what love truely is, but where am I now? Where have I gone? How did I get so far away? When did I get lost? Where did I take a wrong turn? Why isn't He guiding me? Why hasn't He sent people to help me? Why am I so stubborn? When will I learn? Why do I doubt?

I feel stupid that something so basic to the Christian faith has got me so stumped still but I think I needed to look back on it and really reflect and learn. I have to learn to let go and let God. Not just say it and think it but truely do it.

Truth: I'm terrified... LET'S GO!

I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

(romans 8:38-39 message)

See, I'm no king, I wear no crown.

But desperate times seem over now.

But I still weaken somehow. It tears me apart.

I hope to learn as time goes by,

that I should trust what's deep inside..

burning bright. Oh, burning bright.

my sensible heart.

-city and colour.

everything's right

Sooo about those shoe boxes I put junk in...

THEY'RE PAINTED (:

In the process I got painted also haha. I've been listening to the cupid shuffle and drinking soda allll day I get to go shopping later AND IT'S SUNNY! Looks like a good day to me. I'm gonna go wash all the paint off myself and go for a walk and enjoy all the nature I can in my neighborhood. GOD IS GREAT (:

LOVE LOVE LOVE.

happy halloween?

I don't know if you know this, but my mom has a lot of really silly clothes. Most of them are from like the 80s so that explains some of it, but some of the clothes I don't even think people wore then. Syerra's little brother and mom also has really awesomely bad clothes. Well, with the combination of their wardrobes, Syerra and I like to suprise people with a little gift we like to call trick or treating. We do it monthly (or at least try to.)

I bet you're thinking.. August just started, have you trick or treated yet, this month?
Your answer... Yes, we have. TWICE. (:

Now you're guessing.. what were you? Well we never really know exactly what we are, but if I were to describe it I would say we were.. crocodile hunter & tour guide/paleontologist aka Aussies.

Now when you think Austrailian you think silly words and a sweet accent.
Things we Googled to make this possible:
what language do austrailians speak?
what do palenontologists wear?
steve irwin
austrailia slang
quotes from our lips are sealed


The first time we trick or treated this month we were with Shannons sister, Morgan. She had a sweeet jean outfit + a snake skin jacket. (props to her mom!) She also brought us mini crocs to wrestle! For this one we only knew a few Austrailian terms like shila, wallabee, joey, crikey, crocs, the outback, & down under. But after I got off work Syerra suprised me with a page full of austrailian terms like: blunger, bloke, beaut, bacon strips, not my bowl of rice, who opened their lunch, dill, brekkie, barbie, grudies, sunnies ... these are just the ones I remember. So then we headed back over to entertain again, minus Morgan.

Oh they joys of making people laugh. Too bad Holly wasn't there.. she always cries (:

previous treats: